It will not happen, I swear to BeeGees

This will not turn into Jillian's whine and moan weight loss journey. I've been there, done that, bought the tshirt and then turned the tshirt into rags to clean my bathroom. However, this blog is my whiny, narcissistic anger management journal and, by all that is holy and reverent, if I don't get off my weight loss plateau, I am going to explode. I mean it. I will cover this whole house in cellulite and don't think I won't do it.

ONE MONTH. One month of no movement on the scale. It taunts me. I'm at *mumble*.2 pounds. Seriously. *Mumble*.2 pounds for a month. It's the .2 pounds that's taunting me. And now, it's starting to move up. My nutritionist, Fran, has finally given me the go ahead to drop down 200 calories because, frankly, I think she fears the cellulite explosion.

It's not helping. If anything, I think I may gain because of this. I've read the googled sites. They say that I need to "shake up my routine" and exercise more, which is out due to my knee. Eat at different times. Eat more. Eat less. Eat upside down, which is my preferred sleeping position according to Husband since all this started. Eat less carbs. Eat more protein. Hop on one less and shout your grandmother's middle name while tugging on your earlobe.

I'm to the point where I'm wondering if donating blood would get rid of that pesky .2 pounds, at least until it regenerates. I'm trying the eating more thing. The problem is that I'm not hungry. There. I said it. Throw your stones. I don't eat when I'm not hungry anymore. 4 months in and I just don't do it and I'm not going to and sometimes that means that I can go a week at 1,000 calories a day and now that means I'm not losing weight even if I have one day a week where I eat anything I want and can get 2500-3000 calories that day.

Fran and I need to have some one on one time. It's scheduled for the end of the month. Our relationship is suffering. I'm going to jump back on the physical therapy and try to get to where I can do exercise. I have no idea what to do abotu food other than eat when I'm hungry and eat right. I just bought a new scale to show the old one who is boss. It's pretty and glass and the old one is dirty and plastic. Who is in charge now? The only problem? It actually shows me as heavier than Old Faithful.

2 words: Cellulite Explosion.