No Boomerangs allowed in the house!

While reading an article on the so-called Boomerang Generation, it occurred to me that there is this huge generation of entitlement issues. Of course I'm not generalizing an entire generation, that would be stereotyping and utterly un-pc of me. I'm stuck in my multi-cultural education course and was required to take about 9,000 other courses to avoid that kind of mentality. However, I'm also trained to notice patterns, and this one is a biggie.

For me, I do remember back in high school that there were some lucky kids whose parents were going to cover their education regardless. I'd been told since the age of zygote that this was not going to be the case for me and that I should be working extra shifts because I needed to pay for college. There was no room for delusion in my family. Most of us worked for money, worked for scholarships, excelled in atheltics (not this person, but some other schmucks), or found other ways to make ends meet. The bottom line was that there was pressure to do something on our own because our parents weren't responsible for our education.

Now, however, as I am exposed to a growing number of high school students, this is not the case. Mom and dad are expected to give up whatever savings they have to foot the college bill. If the child gets a full ride, but needs a new car and gas to put in it, they aren't expected to a get a job; Rather, mom and dad will take care of it. I'm floored by this ideology. Blah blah blah capitalist society blah blah blah. Part of being in a capitalist society is thought that if you expect to get money, you have to find ways of earning it. The harder you work, the more money you earn, etc, etc, etc.

I'm not going to go into the whole "earning your way into school builds character" because no one I know that is in high school cares. Frankly, I'm 29 and I don't care that it builds character. If someone said "hey, I'll pay for the rest of your doctoral degree! ON THE HOUSE!" I'd say screw my character, give me the free education.

Here is my deal: eventually, parents run out of money, or get sick, or the economy dies, or they do and children do NOT KNOW HOW TO COPE ON THEIR OWN WITHOUT THAT HELP. You can hustle and manipulate all you want, but unless you are paying EVERY SINGLE ONE of your bills without the help of your parents/guardians/family members, you haven't officially stood on your own yet. You're faking it until you make it and the people around you know it. You can proclaim your adulthood and your independence, but those of us that have done it and continue to do it are humoring you and waiting for you to find your clue.

Quit taking advantage of your loved ones and find a way to make it on your own. I am speaking from experience. For the first couple of years you do need some help. Then it's time to get off your butt and do it on your own. This is what we did: give up the fun stuff. And the tasty stuff. And the stuff that makes life really good. Until you can afford it. Because until you can, you are essentially stealing from someone else to make your ends meet and lying about your actual "need." If you have money to go out to eat EVER, but can't make a car payment so you "borrow" money, you're stealing. If you go on vacations, even once a year, but can't pay your rent, yep. If you make excuses to buy new clothes when those who are lending you money haven't bought them in over 2 years, rethink your life.

Eat at home. All the time. The cheap stuff. Go to Aldis and Save a lot. It's what broke kids do. It's what broke adults do. Give up your internet and go to the library and use theirs for free. Get basic cable and drop the premium channels. Do you really need to spend what you spend on your cell phone? Drop down to the most basic plan offered and shut off your text messaging. Unnecessary expenses are just that: unnecessary. Use freecycle and craiglist to get free stuff for your house instead of buying it. Sell stuff you can't wear/use anymore on ebay. The key here is taking your own responsibility for your situation. If you can't cut it on your own without borrowing, then by all means, move back in with the parents, but pay rent.

If I sound harsh it's because I feel harsh about this situation. It's hard out there and no one says it isn't. It's the whole reason you get 18 years to prepare for life prior to being dumped out there. Unfortunately, my guess is that you spent that whole time worried about prom and who liked you. I know I did and reality hit me in the face. The good news is that I made it and you can, too. I can go out to eat. I can have my cable. I can have my cell phone. I have the house and the car. I didn't get it at 18, though, and I had to work over 10 years for what I have. No one handed it to me. And it's still not easy, but it's doable.

My 8-year old, AJ, gets this concept. Like me, he's heard about this since he was a zygote. He was in the car with me today and said, "Mama, I will need to save my money for a tv." I was curious about this as we have more tvs than we need for him to watch in our house. I asked him why and he said, "So when I move out I have one." I was perplexed as I assume this is a ways off and him buying a tv now is probably not a good plan. I asked when he wanted to move out and he said "When I'm a growed up! I don't want to leave, but you keep telling me I've gotta go." Amen, brother. Yes, you do. And when it's time, you'll be ready or you'll pay rent.